Do you prefer to listen to music alone?

MikeCh

MikeCh

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....or with others?

A couple of weeks ago I had an absolutely terrible head cold and so relegated myself to a spare bedroom where I took up residency for a week or so. While in the midst of my head cold I could not sleep well and thus found myself awake off and on all hours of the night. At times like this I generally will watch TV between spells of coughing, sneezing, hacking, etc. as that's all I can muster to waste away the night and catnap as I wait for the virus to pass. By spending my sick time in another bedroom I tend to not keep my wife awake all night as I suffer.

During this past ill-week episode, I found myself watching the movie "Into the Wild" (the Christopher McCandless story) on TV one late night. Each time I've seen the movie I find new things I missed previously. This time around, one of his journal entries struck me....and has stuck with me since. His entry toward the end as he was dying, “Happiness only real when shared.” is quite prophetic in it's own right, but it hit me....when he cracked a smile upon writing it down in the journal in the movie....did he hit upon "the meaning of life" ???? Who knows. Regardless, the phrase has it's merit.

Fast forward to tonight, three weeks later.

I'm sitting here listening to a couple of LP's for the first time in a couple months time. This is the first time I've had a chance to actually sit and listen AND enjoy some tunes on my own.

At about the 2/3 mark of the first LP (just flipped to side 2 and was getting into it), my wife comes down to the listening room and plops down for a listen. She lasts almost until the end of side 2, then decides to go to bed.

I like when my wife wants to listen to music with me. However, I think I like it best when I listen by myself. There is a singular joy I get when able to listen, dissect and become enveloped in the music solo-de-la-solo vs. chatting a little here and there, explaining what we are listening to, who it is, etc. I'm just not as relaxed when listening with someone else. So, in the case of serious listening to music with another person in the room (unless it's a party atmosphere where there is intentional conversation and bustling about) I can't say that I really enjoy it unless both (or all) parties involved have the same singular purpose....to listen.

I find my happiest listening is solo or with my Dad who also shares the same focus.

As far as the Christopher McCandless quote: “Happiness only real when shared." .....it may apply to many things in life and it's a great thing to ponder in general, but IMO it does not always apply when listening to music specifically as I think the most enjoyable, focused listening is best attained solo and I'll admit it brings me great happiness to do so.

Do any of you agree?
 
Hi Mike,

If I'm listening for background music, I prefer my wife to be there.

If I'm doing critical listening, I prefer to be with an audiophile friend.

If I'm listening for immersion (the pure joy of the music), I definitely prefer to be alone and to listen late at night.

Best,
Ken
 
To truly listen to the music, for me, it must be alone. I find music to be like a drug that transports my mind someplace else, and this is a singular, pleasant experience. Music just playing can be enjoyed with others.
 
I listen alone 95% of the time. Nothing beats the connection, intimacy and immersion you get from a solo session in the sweet spot with a single malt or cognac as your only buddy.
 
ctop said:
I listen alone 95% of the time. Nothing beats the connection, intimacy and immersion you get from a solo session in the sweet spot with a single malt or cognac as your only buddy.
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+1. I prefer to listen alone, unless I am needing to adjust something or compare two products, then I like at least another opinion or two.
 
Mostly alone, but sometimes with a date I'll listen to what she requests if I have it. Makes it a lot easier with Roon and Tidal. There is some music I strictly listen to by myself, not even with audiophile buddies. It would just seen odd otherwise.
 
I listen alone and with Susan. I enjoy sharing music with her, but there are times when I prefer to listen alone. I also love to listen with audiophile friends who really focus on the music.
 
Mike.......Great topic. Commenting first on “Happiness only real when shared”, this seems to me to be an individual observation and will vary from person to person, so ultimately I don't interpret that comment to be proverbial. Happiness comes at all levels of emotion and is often described as joy. This can easily be experience singularly or shared. The advantage of a shared state of well-being and contentment is the memory of the event doesn't have to be described for the other person to understand. None the less, the presence of others is not necessarily a required prerequisite for a pleasurable or satisfying experience to take place, at least not for me.

When it comes to enjoying music reproduction on a sound system, quite different from enjoying music at a live event, I prefer listening alone. Like others have mentioned, background music is a different circumstance, one that doesn't require your attention. I do this at dinner time and morning coffee where conversation happens simultaneously with music played at a low background level. When I want to be immersed in the experience of a recorded musical performance being alone makes it simple to achieve total focus without interruption. When another person is present my attention is distracted to one degree or another even without conversation. My ability to focus completely is disrupted with the presence of others. This doesn't mean I don't enjoy sharing my sound system because I do, but that is an entirely different experience from sitting comfortably alone in the sweet spot in a dedicated room without distractions. For me, the ultimate listening experiences happen when I am alone.
 
First of all, great movie and so sad that the guy was only miles from help when he died in that old bus. I saw a PBS special where his family retraced his steps and journeyed to that bus.

I prefer to be alone for two main reasons, Volume and No Talking. I love spending as much time with my wife as possible. She likes 99% of the same music I do so at least we don't argue about what goes on. But she likes to wind down at night while I relax to stimulation....Music. She also likes to talk, and obviously for me to listen and respond. So that puts a damper on both volume and concentration for me.

But if we are just cooking or doing things about the house, Pandora is usually on shuffle and playing in the background for us both.
 
We have a lot of loners here I see. I too do the vast majority of listening by myself and I'm fine with that. It sure is nice to have an audio buddy over every once in awhile for friendship and a sanity check. I'm not interested in having an audio club of goobers over at my house though. My wife would flip out if a bunch of guys who look like they just left a Star Wars Convention showed up at our house.
 
As everyone else has mentioned, 99% solo in sweet spot translates into maximal enjoyment and immersion for me. Somebody else's presence usually is too distracting for me to connect with the music in an immersive way.
 
Shadowfax said:
I prefer to be alone for two main reasons, Volume and No Talking. I love spending as much time with my wife as possible. She likes 99% of the same music I do so at least we don't argue about what goes on. But she likes to wind down at night while I relax to stimulation....Music. She also likes to talk, and obviously for me to listen and respond. So that puts a damper on both volume and concentration for me.

But if we are just cooking or doing things about the house, Pandora is usually on shuffle and playing in the background for us both.
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Yep, wives love to yammer and they expect you to listen and respond. The problem is that after you have been married a long time, men develop a notch filter in their hearing that is centered around the frequency their wife is yapping on. We see their lips moving, but we don't really hear what they are saying unless they start talking about sex because that voice is carried on a different frequency. When you are doing 37-life, you learn to instinctively nod your head at the right times and say such things as: Um-hmm, Is that right?, Really? Wow.
 
mep said:
Yep, wives love to yammer and they expect you to listen and respond. When you are doing 37-life, you learn to instinctively nod your head at the right times and say such things as: Um-hmm, Is that right?, Really? Wow.
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Mark.......So true!



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Reviving an old one - I really love it when my wife and I organically find ourselves listening to music with no other distractions. That being said, it’s never quite as therapeutic as listening solo. No pressure to pick playlists that satisfy both of our tastes and sustain attention.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Somebody else's presence is too distracting for me to connect with the music in an immersive way. To me listening to the stereo is both a meditation and a therapeutic act..
 
mep said:
Yep, wives love to yammer and they expect you to listen and respond. The problem is that after you have been married a long time, men develop a notch filter in their hearing that is centered around the frequency their wife is yapping on. We see their lips moving, but we don't really hear what they are saying unless they start talking about sex because that voice is carried on a different frequency. When you are doing 37-life, you learn to instinctively nod your head at the right times and say such things as: Um-hmm, Is that right?, Really? Wow.
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I call that Selective Deafness
 
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