Where does it all go in the end?

[brad225]

From time to time my wife and I will have another couple over and decide to all go up to my listening room. Every one always seems to have a good time and we stay up much to late and have more wine than normal.

My wife doesn't spend time in the music room other than when friends are over as it is not really her interest other than its a social funcion. The thing that has come up a day or two after a listening session is, "What should I do with your equipment once your are gone".

I am only 65 and have no intentions of going anywhere soon, but I will always have an audio system. It is not asked in a morbid way. She just wonders what I would want.

Every thing we have is covered in our will and trust but nothing specific about my audio equipment.

We don't have any children but do have 11 siblings and 55 nieces and nephews. Even with that I don't think any have an serious interest in this hobby with the exception of possibly a niece that has just married into the family. She is an acoustic engeneer for Harmon International in the auto industry. She and her family live 1500 miles away and we have not seen a lot of each other since first meeting 2 years ago.

And, no I am not interested in adopting and of you. :-)

I've told my wife I'm fine if she were to give it to a family member or a friend that would put it to use or help them move their hobby along.

Have any of you thought of this and where will it go?

I don't mean for this to be a depressing thread but it's one of those unavoidable things.

[Mike]

From time to time my wife and I will have another couple over and decide to all go up to my listening room. Every one always seems to have a good time and we stay up much to late and have more wine than normal.

My wife doesn't spend time in the music room other than when friends are over as it is not really her interest other than its a social funcion. The thing that has come up a day or two after a listening session is, "What should I do with your equipment once your are gone".

I am only 65 and have no intentions of going anywhere soon, but I will always have an audio system. It is not asked in a morbid way. She just wonders what I would want.

Every thing we have is covered in our will and trust but nothing specific about my audio equipment.

We don't have any children but do have 11 siblings and 55 nieces and nephews. Even with that I don't think any have an serious interest in this hobby with the exception of possibly a niece that has just married into the family. She is an acoustic engeneer for Harmon International in the auto industry. She and her family live 1500 miles away and we have not seen a lot of each other since first meeting 2 years ago.

And, no I am not interested in adopting and of you. :-)

I've told my wife I'm fine if she were to give it to a family member or a friend that would put it to use or help them move their hobby along.

Have any of you thought of this and where will it go?

I don't mean for this to be a depressing thread but it's one of those unavoidable things.

Definitely not a fun conversation, but definitely an important one. Mark (MDP) and myself just went through this with David’s widow. David was a dealer in Texas and Mark and I were very close to him.

David’s wife ended up selling all the gear for about 30 cents on the dollar to a west coast dealer.

I’ve also witnessed this with a few others and what I found is that audiophile friends helped the widow get the most for the gear and music collection.


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[jadedavid]

Unfortunately it usually turns into a fire sale netting 30 cents or so on the dollar.
I've seen the same thing happen many times in the Ham radio clubs for a "silent key".
Even with club members and friends pitching in.
Perhaps there is an opportunity for a broker to liquidate such items from an estate. Providing a valuable service.

[Mike]

My friend Bart runs this site. Complete concierge selling service (he deals with all the hassle!).

https://playitagainaudio.com

This would be good in this circumstances, but also for those who don’t like dealing with the hassles of selling used gear.


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[Hounddog]

I have one daughter with little interest in the system. She appreciates the sound quality, but would never maintain a system this big and complicated. I’m only 56, but suspect I’ll downsize over the years so that she isn’t left with the burden of selling all this stuff (and likely getting taken in the process).

Now, what about my fishing reels? They’re built for the generations too and she has even less interest in them.


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[Greg F]

I have one daughter with little interest in the system. She appreciates the sound quality, but would never maintain a system this big and complicated. I’m only 56, but suspect I’ll downsize over the years so that she isn’t left with the burden of selling all this stuff (and likely getting taken in the process).

Now, what about my fishing reels? They’re built for the generations too and she has even less interest in them.


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I also have a daughter and I'm 57. She has a lot of interest in music growing up with me but not in the gear itself. She would be happy with a simple system.

I had a good friend who passed away just a few weeks ago now. His wife knows nothing at all about his gear so I offered to sell it for her. She of course is very happy about that and I'm making sure she gets what the gear is worth. This has caused the same conversation you are having now in that my wife has no idea what to do with my equipment nor what any of it is worth. I told her to contact a couple of my audio friends and have them help her sell it. Since she has seen what I'm doing for my friends wife it all makes sense to her now.

I think this is probably the best solution, give your partner the name of an audio friend and and give him a heads up. That way it is taken care of before you are gone and takes the burden off of the person left behind.

Greg

[Alectiong]

Very depressing topic. Maybe one advice is don’t keep upgrading as you age.


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[Mike]

I also have a daughter and I'm 57. She has a lot of interest in music growing up with me but not in the gear itself. She would be happy with a simple system.

I had a good friend who passed away just a few weeks ago now. His wife knows nothing at all about his gear so I offered to sell it for her. She of course is very happy about that and I'm making sure she gets what the gear is worth. This has caused the same conversation you are having now in that my wife has no idea what to do with my equipment nor what any of it is worth. I told her to contact a couple of my audio friends and have them help her sell it. Since she has seen what I'm doing for my friends wife it all makes sense to her now.

I think this is probably the best solution, give your partner the name of an audio friend and and give him a heads up. That way it is taken care of before you are gone and takes the burden off of the person left behind.

Greg

Sorry to hear of your loss.

I think you handled it best.

[Audiophilehi]

My son and daughter are both interested so no issue there. What my wife every so often asks me to do is catalog my LP's and include how much each one is worth. She said she wouldn't know if the LP is worth $1.00 or $1,000.00. I have to admit it is a good idea but to look at cataloging a few thousand LP's is daunting to say the least.

I might just start with the collectible ones.

[rrwmd]

Not a problem for me....either one of my sons would be glad to get their hands on my equipment!

[still-one]

My wife knows that my dealer will liquidate it for her.

[Mr Peabody]

I told my wife she should sell what she could. My son would take care of it butI'm not sure how deep his interest is. I'm hoping maybe a grandchild or one of my daughter's might show some interest before the issue comes up. If no one to really appreciate it, liquidating to cash seems the next best option for a survivor.

Then I'm thinking, how long would something like a 70+ pound amp sit at Goodwill, LOL How long would it take for someone to recognize what it was. Could you imagine a set of MBL speakers at Goodwill? What the ...... are those

My youngest daughter is 7, she will sit and listen if I we take turns selecting tracks, so maybe some hope. My grandson plays trumpet in school, still seems more interested in video games than good sound.

[Mechnutt]

Very depressing topic. Maybe one advice is don’t keep upgrading as you age.


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That is actually what I plan on doing. I turn 60 this year and in 7-10 years I will down size my system to a Integrated amp and smaller speakers.
I am lucky in that my son is into audio and has all my hand me down gear and he will inherit a great system.

[Mike B.]

I just turned 74 so I am dealing with lots of material things that need to go away before I croak. My main focus are shelves of items I have not touched in years. My estate is willed to a University. I guess I have come to the decision to not obsess over where the items I cherish go.

[Hounddog]

My son and daughter are both interested so no issue there. What my wife every so often asks me to do is catalog my LP's and include how much each one is worth. She said she wouldn't know if the LP is worth $1.00 or $1,000.00. I have to admit it is a good idea but to look at cataloging a few thousand LP's is daunting to say the least.

I might just start with the collectible ones.

I’m slowly trying to catalog my collection via Discogs (they have a bar scanner function for those pieces with a bar code). I likely won’t finish any time soon, if ever.

Love the idea to leave the name of an audio buddy to help sell it. Revealing what the stuff costs when new is ... not an option.


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[jdandy]

In the event that I should pass away before Marlene, I have left her a list of individuals who may be interested in my audio gear. She will most likely leave the living room system intact to maintain the look and feel of that room. The recording studio equipment, two channel studio sound system, and the home theater system represents money in the bank for her if she wishes to liquidate it. She can make that decision when the time comes.

My prayer is that I outlive Marlene so that I can continue to take care of her through her final day. She can no longer drive due to macular degeneration. I have been her chauffeur for the past five years due to her gradually failing eyesight. In addition, I am considerably more proficient at taking care of business and finances, maintaining this home and property, and handling any necessary repairs. It would be beneficial for Marlene that I outlive her. Either way, the inevitable faces all of us.

[Penthouse-D]

I have an idea !! How about we , "pair up" with people and have a first to die beneficiary. I like the Accuphase gear a few posts ago. If I die first, he can have my set up, if he goes before me, I inherit the Accuphase.....Spooky , but at least we'll know the a fellow enthusiast will get and appreciate our gear!!

[astrotoy]

When I retired a decade ago, my wife's concern was my record and tape collection. So I did something about it. I posted this a few days ago explaining what I did with my 15K+ records and 1K+ tapes.

http://www.audioshark.org/showthread...888#post242888

Equipment is another story. My daughter and son-in-law could take some of the choice pieces, but they would need a bigger house to fit anything substantial (like my Avantgarde speakers.). We also have two grand pianos!

Larry

[Sharp 2160]

I spoke with my adult children about this two years ago. I'm 59 now and my living trust states to contact my friend who's an local audio dealer to sell my gear if I should die. I told him also. Neither of my kids has the room or desire for my system. Knowing my daughter she'll keep my music collection. I did the opposite when retiring and went for an all out dream system. I will not deny myself the pleasure of music on good equipment now. I downsized once years ago when I divorced, never again.

[audio.bill]

I'm going to be buried with my destination system to enjoy my favorite music for eternity. Just have to arrange for the dedicated power lines!

[brad225]

My hope is, to give my equipment to someone that will enjoy it. I appear to not be alone in not having a family member that would give it a new home.

[Ritmo]

This is a topic that requires serious conversation with spouses; specially for very expensive equipment and large music collections. Like other assets, having a good and detailed plan with written instructions would be very helpful to the surviving spouse/partner/family member.

My 2 cents.

[Mr Peabody]

Dan, there are a lot of aids that can help your wife in day to day things. Talking clocks, microwaves and the like, hand held or table top magnification devices, they use a camera to read the text and show it on a screen, you can adjust size color etc. There's websites with stuff I probably don't know exist. You can get money readers. If you haven't explored, phones have "accessibility" in settings, you can adjust the icons and different items, or, just have what's on the screen read by using a finger. She can still be independent if so desired. I have software on my computer to read.

You may know all that, but, if I can help, let me know.

In the event that I should pass away before Marlene, I have left her a list of individuals who may be interested in my audio gear. She will most likely leave the living room system intact to maintain the look and feel of that room. The recording studio equipment, two channel studio sound system, and the home theater system represents money in the bank for her if she wishes to liquidate it. She can make that decision when the time comes.

My prayer is that I outlive Marlene so that I can continue to take care of her through her final day. She can no longer drive due to macular degeneration. I have been her chauffeur for the past five years due to her gradually failing eyesight. In addition, I am considerably more proficient at taking care of business and finances, maintaining this home and property, and handling any necessary repairs. It would be beneficial for Marlene that I outlive her. Either way, the inevitable faces all of us.

[Mr Peabody]

I know a few guys who talk about "down sizing" the system at some point. I personally don't see a point in that. I'm with Sharp 2160, I want to enjoy my system to the end. On the other hand, I'll not say never, but I don't plan to buy another 100+ pound amp again, LOL

[CPP]

Well, I know my wife would not want to deal with the equipment as she has stated she has NO interest at all in dealing with my "audio stuff", including the HT system. My daughters are not interested although they love music and have already spoken for a couple of old Martins I have. Interesting though how easy it is to redirect my other hobbies, like my golf equipment to my son-in-law, my camera equipment to my younger daughter, all my fishing equipment to my brother. I guess "hi-end- audio equipment just doesn't interest the majority of people.

[Mechnutt]

Depressing thread, I am going to find a younger forum

My 63 year old neighbor who looked 15 years younger and was the picture of health just died suddenly this week. That really brings home the point of this thread.

[jdandy]

We never really own anything. We simply stand guard on it until we pass. All of us inevitably leave this Earth, everything else stays behind for the next guard.

[laynesaddiction]

As long as either my wife or I are alive, it is not an issue as she enjoys and uses our system as much as I do. However, I never thought of this question as to once we are both gone. I guess it is time to update our wills/trusts and/or at least figure out an order of operation as to who would derive enjoyment out of it and thus give it to them.

[NorthStar]

True, none of us really own anything. Someone else owns something else ...

We come we go, when we came we came nude, no passport, no cards, no nothing but a cable from the belly button plugged to the main power source. When we went we went dressed inside a box, wireless, Wi-Fi, some underground, others spread to the four corners, to the winds, to the ocean ...
The ones that came before us, our ancestors, they had similar destinies, with their living times.
The ones that came after us, our great great great grandchildren, they are outliving some of us. They inherited the connection, the interconnect, the cable of life.

We don't own really anything, but life given from that feed, that cable plugged to the main power transformer, the life source...to our mothers and fathers, sparkles of life. That's what we too give, what was given to us and what we truly own...life.

What we leave when we die is only what we truly own, what we fought for all our lives, ...

[Priaptor]

This is a topic that requires serious conversation with spouses; specially for very expensive equipment and large music collections. Like other assets, having a good and detailed plan with written instructions would be very helpful to the surviving spouse/partner/family member.

My 2 cents.

I must respectfully disagree. Face it when your dead, you will hopefully be remembered for all the good you did. Why rock the boat when alive. If I sat down and did estate planning with my wife/kids and my wife in particular ACTUALLY SAW what I paid for this stuff, my funeral would come much sooner than expected.

At least when your dead, #1 you won't have to take sh-t for all you "wasted" and #2 at least for the time of mourning, no one is going to criticize you for the money "wasted" and #3 once the estate is divided up, it will be a nice surprise.

While I am still breathing and my mind still works, there is NO WAY, I am opening up Pandora's box. I want to spend whatever time I have left on this earth in peace.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

[Mike]

Agreed. You can’t take it with you.

[Ritmo]

I must respectfully disagree. Face it when your dead, you will hopefully be remembered for all the good you did. Why rock the boat when alive. If I sat down and did estate planning with my wife/kids and my wife in particular ACTUALLY SAW what I paid for this stuff, my funeral would come much sooner than expected.

At least when your dead, #1 you won't have to take sh-t for all you "wasted" and #2 at least for the time of mourning, no one is going to criticize you for the money "wasted" and #3 once the estate is divided up, it will be a nice surprise.

While I am still breathing and my mind still works, there is NO WAY, I am opening up Pandora's box. I want to spend whatever time I have left on this earth in peace.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

In life, we deal with challenges in different ways. I choose to have clarity and transparency. I don’t find this to be a difficult issue to deal with. However, I don’t want to put my wife through the process of having to deal with this set of decisions.

Now, let’s enjoy some 🎶 ...

[Priaptor]

In life, we deal with challenges in different ways. I choose to have clarity and transparency. I don’t find this to be a difficult issue to deal with. However, I don’t want to put my wife through the process of having to deal with this set of decisions.

Now, let’s enjoy some �� ...

I share all with my wife EXCEPT what I spend on audio, and a few other toys like my boat, my dock renovation, etc.

When she sees the boxes coming and going, speakers coming and going, she just shakes her head and says, "I don't want to know" so as far as I'm concerned I'm acceding to her wishes.

[astrotoy]

One of the greatest gifts my father gave me was a meticulously organized set of financial records when he died. He found out he had terminal cancer a month before he died. He had always kept very good records, but in that month, he organized them so that when I arrived at their home, everything was in order. I went with my mom to the local bank and she opened the safe deposit box (of course, not saying anything about my father dying) and together with his records and a copy of the Wall Street Journal with the stock prices of when he died, I had just about everything I needed for his estate evaluation, which took me less than a day to do. The only thing missing was an appraisal of their home (not in a community property state) which a local realtor friend did within a few days.

Contrast that with a family friend who passed away about the same time. He left all his financial records in a large number of grocery bags, stuffed with papers of all sorts, important and not. The only clue is that they were consecutively numbered. His children, a lawyer and a CPA took the better part of six months to untangle all the records.

Larry

[Barry]

I have no delusions that anyone wants my audio system. Despite the value, in the larger scheme of the estate, thankfully, it doesn't matter. It's far as can be from a family treasure with history and emotional significance. I'm just happy knowing if I die tomorrow, everyone will be taken care of. Thank God!

I can't imagine not telling my wife what I spent on audio equipment. Both of us are in this together "until death do us part". I do wish she had more expensive hobbies sometimes. I am happy she likes to travel the world with me, loves a good dinner out, and drinks more than her fair share of a nice bottle of wine every now and then!

[CPP]

Agreed. You can’t take it with you.

You would be surprised what people are buried with.

[Mike]

You would be surprised what people are buried with.

Yes. VTSkier (Jon) says he’s going to be buried with his Raidho C4.1’s. Or was that in the C4.1’s? Can’t remember.

It’s not because he loves them either.

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[Mechnutt]

I am going to turn the tables. What happens if the wife dies before you, what do you do with all the coach purses, jewelry and hundred pair of expensive shoes?

[Hounddog]

There’s an idea. Prop my head on the pre amp and my feet on the mono blocks.


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[mauidan]

I am going to turn the tables. What happens if the wife dies before you, what do you do with all the coach purses, jewelry and hundred pair of expensive shoes?

My wife died last year.

Other than her wedding ring, everything went to our daughter and two granddaughters.

[NorthStar]

I am going to turn the tables. What happens if the wife dies before you, what do you do with all the coach purses, jewelry and hundred pair of expensive shoes?

The same thing your wife would do with your stuff; make room for more purses, high heeled shoes, pot plants, family pictures, flowers, Christian Dior wardrobe, jewelry, soaps, perfumes, ...all that woman jazz.

She'd sell all your gear, music LPs, ...to the highest bidder on eBay, and with the money buy a better car, a Tesla Roadster.

[NorthStar]

My wife died last year.

Other than her wedding ring, everything went to our daughter and two granddaughters.

I didn't know that Dan, my sincere condolences.

[jdandy]

My wife died last year.

Other than her wedding ring, everything went to our daughter and two granddaughters.

Dan.......I am sorry to hear this news. God bless her soul. May she rest in peace.

[Ritmo]

To both Dans - Sorry about your loses. Never easy to deal with a love one passing.

Mike - Not clear to me there is much more value on this particular thread. Suggest you put this one to rest - no pun intended.

[Mike]

To both Dans - Sorry about your loses. Never easy to deal with a love one passing.

Mike - Not clear to me there is much more value on this particular thread. Suggest you put this one to rest - no pun intended.

Agreed on all accounts.